Hey everyone! Sorry its been so long. I could give you a list of reasons that is a mile long and though each and every one of them would be true… the basic reason for my absence is that I don’t make time and that I’ve felt distant from the Lord.
I know we all go through this sometimes. We try, we pray, we get busy, we skip bible study for “just tonight” and then suddenly its 4 months later and you’ve only been to church about 10 times… I read a Meme once that said “If you feel like God is distant… guess who moved?” and that has really struck me here lately.
I’ve had a rough couple of months, from personal issues, relationship stuff, family illness, more family illness, and working 2-3 jobs… I’ve been exhausted. I’ve been lazy. I have neglected myself and my most important relationship… my relationship with my Lord and savior.
So why is it 2 am on a night when I don’ have to be up at 6 am, I only work 12 hours tomorrow instead of 15 and yet here I am, blogging instead of sleeping…
I guess it’s because I have too much to say, too many words in my brain, too many experiences that I should be sharing, too many insights that I feel it totally necessary to stay up and get it all off my chest.
Firstly, I am SO blessed. I had my entire family throughout the holiday season. Though Christmas may have been spent visiting my grandmother in the hospital, I am so blessed that the Lord is gracious and has kept her health on the upswing and that he gave the knowledge to the Doctors that attended her. I am also thankful that after 5 different hospital visits, and a weeks stay in the hospital, my sister is almost over her mono. Though at times we feel like life is testing us, its out faith that brings us through the tough times and back into the good times.
Secondly, I am Thankful. I am SO thankful for grace. I am thankful that no matter how many times I have to say to the Lord “Hear me Lord, forgive me for focusing on the things of this world before I focus on you”, he does. He lets me come back again and again. I only hope that one day I will be more worthy of his love and grace.
Thirdly, I am Under Construction. We are constantly changing and growing as human beings. Sometimes we grow in the opposite direction of those we love. Making major life changes is terrifying, but we have to first pray for God to guide us and second, we must have faith in his will for us. The book of Matthew tells us that if we ask ANYTHING in his name it shall be given according to his riches in Heaven. But we must first seek the Lord and make sure that we are in HIS will and not our own.
I have so many changes I am making this year. I’ve started to take better care of myself. I want to be healthy and this is the time to do so. Prayers for me on this journey would be greatly appreciated. I also know that more changes are on the horizon. Some I’m prepared for and some I’m not. Some I am afraid to make alone, and that is where Christ comes in as my comforter.
I have always believed that what is right is usually not easy, but when the prospect of the future is frightening to us, what should we do? Should we fear and stay rooted in one spot just because the future isn’t what we had been imagining? No. We should lean not on our own understanding, we should trust that God is faithful and will never leave us nor forsake us. I rededicated myself to my journey as a Christian tonight in church. I prayed for Christ to lead me to help those who need help and I pray for him to reveal to me his calling on my life.
My goal is to be like Ruth, to be faithful, to be strong, to trust, and to take the chances that the Lord gives me. I pray for his guidance and I ask for your prayers. You have mine.
All My Love,
Holly Lynn ❤