” Hes’s bigger than Godzilla, or the Monsters on TV, oh God is bigger than the Boogey man and he’s watching out for you and me!” – Veggie Tales
My mom literally sings that to Paisley all the time and Paisley loves it! Okay ya’ll, so I KNOW, I haven’t posted in a REALLLYYYYY long time. And honestly, I have no excuse. I wasn’t making time for God like I should have been. And it wasn’t until the first of this year that I really slowed down and noticed it.
I ended 2017 sick as a dog. I didn’t leave my house for 9 days straight and I was basically just miserable, but it forced me to slow down, to stop, and it gave me time away from all my distractions to realize how much I was really missing.
2018 started out and has continued to be a struggle. One thing after another came falling down on my head. My stress, my worry, my LIFE was out of control. And in a moment of pure desperation, I realized that GOD was becoming my last call instead of my first one. I was faced with a situation that was so far beyond my control that it scared me to my core. I went back to church, I laid my problems at the feet of Jesus and I haven’t looked back.
Before I knew it, that problem was resolved, and it was so easy, God created a way where I couldn’t see one. When I felt the most desperate, God looked at me and said “Come back to me… I will take away your burdens” and he did, he always does.
And I’ve realized that it wasn’t my belief in God that was faltering, it was my reliance, it was my faith. I wasn’t looking to God for everything, just the things that were beyond my control, and I don’t mind telling you that I’m ashamed of myself for that.
God should be the first person on our call list. He’s a first responder, not a last resort. Does it take faith? Yes. Does it take relinquishing control of your own life? Absolutely! Is it frightening? Yes, but it shouldn’t be. God has shown me OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again that he is going to come through for me. So on what grounds do I dare doubt him.
My troubles just keep coming at me, but I have had confirmation by more than one person that God is letting things come against me so that he can rescue me. So that HE receives the glory. So many times I try to be my own hero. I try to almost hide the fact that I’m human and that I have problems. I try to let the world see me as a happy-go-lucky type person who’s always there to listen, but I never need anyone else to do that for me, and that’s just untrue.
I need God. And I need him daily. I struggle with my faith, sometimes DAILY. I hurt, I get angry, I cry, and I fall… and God is the driving force that makes me get up and keep going, who keeps me full of faith when I feel like I don’t have an once left, he’s who fills me with joy and peace when there seems to be no peace or joy to be found. He is my comfort, my rock, and the place I always come back to. I hope I stop leaving. I hope I stop leaning on myself and realize that God has to be the absolute and total center of my world. That yes, maybe people will think I’m some sort of fanatic who leans on Jesus for everything, and I honestly, hope that they do feel like that. I hope that they see that without Jesus I am NOTHING, that I literally can’t even walk without him.
If you’re struggling with faith I want you to know that all you have to do is just pray and hold on a little longer. God is coming through for you. You may not get the answer that you are seeking but God is going to deliver something great from your burdens. Give them to him. Relinquish that control. Surrender your life to him and watch him make the changes. He’s never going to let you down.
XOXOXOX Love and Hugs ya’ll!
<3, Holly Lynn